touched Out, Overwhelmed, and Still a good mum

Pooja Mistry
Aug 11
3 min read

There’s a phrase I hear whispered by mothers more often than you'd think: “I just feel touched out.”

It’s said quietly, sometimes with guilt, sometimes with tears. But always with that twinge of “Is this normal?”

And I want to say this clearly, lovingly, and with all the compassion in the world: Yes. It is so normal. You are not broken. You are not failing. You are simply human—and probably running on empty.

What does “touched Out” even mean?

Being "touched out" happens when you've had more physical contact than your nervous system can handle.

Little hands on your chest. A baby clinging to your body 24/7. Toddlers climbing on your lap, a partner reaching for affection, someone always needing you, always touching. It’s beautiful… but it’s also a lot.

And there comes a moment—especially when you haven’t had a second to yourself—where even the softest cuddle can feel overwhelming. It’s like your skin is buzzing. Your brain fogs. Your body wants to pull away. Not because you don’t love your baby, your child, your family… but because you are full.

You’ve given and given and given. And now your nervous system is waving a white flag.

Why this isn’t just about touch

Being touched out is often a symptom of something deeper:

Mental and emotional overload
Sleep deprivation
Constant overstimulation (noise, demands, mess)
Lack of physical autonomy or personal space
No time to process your own needs

Modern motherhood is relentless. We’re not just raising children—we’re doing it in isolation, without the village we were always meant to have. We’re overstretched, under-supported, and expected to meet everyone’s needs without complaining.

So of course you're overwhelmed. Of course your body is asking for space.

That doesn’t make you a bad mum. That makes you a human being with boundaries—and every right to honour them.

let’s normalise the “no”

You’re allowed to say:

“Mumma needs a little space right now.”
“I love you so much, and I need five quiet minutes to breathe.”
“Can we hold hands instead of sitting on my lap?”
“I’m feeling a bit touched out—let’s snuggle again soon.”

These are not rejections. They are invitations to teach your children emotional intelligence and boundaries. They are models of self-care and honest communication.

And you deserve those things, too.

talk about it. please.

One of the most healing things you can do is say it out loud. To your partner. A friend. A support group. Or even a voice note to yourself:

“I feel touched out. And it’s okay.”

You are not alone in this. So many other mothers are carrying the same invisible load, holding the same tension in their bodies, craving just one quiet moment of not being needed.

Saying it out loud doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you honest. And honesty is the beginning of healing.

here’s What might help

Take a sensory break: dim the lights, put in earplugs, lay under a blanket—reset your nervous system.
Communicate needs: let your partner or co-parent know when you need physical space.
Create rituals of self-touch: like a hot shower, moisturising slowly, or hugging yourself—where you’re in control of how your body is engaged.
Boundaries are beautiful: having limits doesn’t make you cold. It creates safety—for you and your children.

you deserve space too

You are not just a mother. You are still you—with a body, a mind, and a heart that needs rest, restoration, and care.

Being overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re weak. Feeling touched out doesn’t mean you’re cold. Needing space doesn’t mean you’re distant.

It just means you’re human—and beautifully so.

If this resonates, let this be your reminder to soften towards yourself today. To claim one small moment just for you. To breathe a little deeper. And to remember: you’re doing enough. You are enough.

And no matter how overstimulated or over-touched you may feel, you’re still a deeply loving, incredible mum.

With all my love and understanding,

Pooja xo