What i Wish i Could tell pregnant me – 7 years later

If I could sit down with the version of me who was pregnant seven years ago—nervous, nesting, and soaking in all the "you must" and "you should" advice—I’d give her a big hug…And then I’d tell her a few honest truths.

Not to scare her. Not to shame her. But to help her prepare for one of the most transformative experiences of her life.

Here’s what I’d say to the me who was expecting Shyam… (and maybe, to you too).

1. start your education early- get on it with hypnobirthing

Stop waiting. Don’t wait until you’re on maternity leave or until you’ve bought the perfect pregnancy pillow.

Start now. Hypnobirthing is not just a class – it’s a mindset shift. It’s about understanding your body, your rights, your power. It’s not just for the "crunchy" mums, it’s for anyone who wants to feel in control and calm—whatever kind of birth they’re planning.

Your future self will thank you for learning how your hormones work, how to breathe through surges, and how to protect your peace.

2. if your partner is scattered, sceptical or disengaged- hire a doula

Hemant is an incredible father and a wonderful man. But during pregnancy, he was distracted and sceptical. He didn’t get it. He didn’t know what support looked like in labour until after Shyam was born.

And while we had a positive birth, I could see how easily it could have spiralled without grounded support.

If your partner isn’t ready or able to hold space for you—that’s okay. But please don’t carry it all alone.

Hire a doula. Someone who is only there for you. Not for the baby. Not for hospital policy. For you.

3. the nursery doesn't need to be done before baby arrives

I know it’s tempting. The Pinterest boards, the colour swatches, the matching mobiles.

But the truth is—your baby will sleep in your room for the first six months (and possibly longer). They won’t care about the wallpaper or the storage baskets.

You can do the nursery later. Spend that time preparing you. Not the changing table.

4. if you can spend £1,000 on a baby shower but question birth prep- check your priorities

Yes, the baby shower was fun. Yes, the memories are sweet. But when I found myself hesitating about investing the same amount in birth education, a doula, or postnatal support—I should’ve stopped and thought:

“What will actually support me when I’m in labour at 2am?Who will I lean on when I’m shaking after birth or struggling to latch?”

The cake and confetti won’t help you through labour. Birth prep will.

5. breastfeeding can be hard- that doesn't mean you're failing

Breastfeeding is natural… but it’s also a skill. And like any skill, you may need guidance, support, and encouragement—especially in those raw early days.

You are not broken if you find it painful, confusing, or overwhelming. There’s nothing wrong with you. You just need help.

Line up support now. Know where to go. Don’t wait until you’re in tears at 3am.

Reach out—to a lactation consultant, a breastfeeding cafe, or a supportive group.

6. you won't remember the nappy game- you will remember what was said to you in labour- this one still stings.

The midwife who told me at 3cm:

“You’ll probably be in labour for three days. I’m going on lunch.”

That sentence? It stayed with me for years. The doubt, the dismissal, the coldness.

And guess what? I gave birth hours later.

You won’t remember what gifts you got at your baby shower. You won’t remember how the nursery looked.

You will remember how people made you feel.

So protect your space. Choose your people wisely. And prepare to advocate for yourself (or have someone who will).

7. hire a birth photographer (or at least ask someone to capture the moment)

The day your baby is born only happens once. And while you’ll remember how it felt, you’ll wish you had more photos of how it looked — raw, powerful, and real.

Even if you don’t hire a professional, ask your partner or midwife to take photos. The moment you first meet your baby… it’s pure magic. And one day, those blurry, honest, love-soaked images will mean more to you than anything you hang in the nursery.

8. it's not as expensive as you make it out to be- invest in you

Babies don’t need all the extras. They need you.

And I already knew that, having worked in Early Years… But even I got swept up in the cute outfits, matching blankets, and all the stuff.

Here’s the truth: You will use the moses basket for laundry and spare cushions. Shyam didn’t sleep in it — he slept on me. And now? I’m lucky if I can get a hug from him!

So if you’re thinking of skipping the yoga, aquanatal, or the birth workshop because it feels “too much” — please don’t. Your physical and mental wellbeing is the most essential investment of all.

Don’t get suckered into what social media says you need. Most of it is just great marketing.

wake up and sort it out- because this will stay with you

Birth is not a day you get through. It’s an experience that imprints on you.

It becomes part of your story as a mother. And whether it’s empowering or traumatic depends largely on how prepared, supported, and informed you are.

You have a say in that.

Birth is not something to fear. But it is something to respect, honour, and prepare for.

You don’t need perfection. You need knowledge. You need support. You need to trust yourself.

And when you invest in you, your baby receives a stronger, more supported start too.

So go ahead and buy the bunting if you want. But also buy the book, take the class, hire the doula.

Because when the contractions come, and it’s just you and your breath…That’s what you’ll lean on.

With love and wisdom I wish I had earlier,

Pooja xo