“they saved me”- but did they need to?
- Pooja Mistry
- 8 hours ago
- 4 min read
Every time I hear a mother say, “They saved me,” my heart clenches a little.
Not because I don’t believe her. Not because I doubt that her experience was real. But because I wonder…
Did they need to save her? Or did the system create a problem and then swoop in as the hero?
We need to talk—gently but honestly—about how medicalised birth, even with the best intentions, is often the very reason why so many women feel they needed rescuing.
the hospital isn't always the safest place to birth
We’ve been conditioned to believe that birth is inherently dangerous. That hospitals equal safety. That intervention equals protection.
But the truth is:
Hospitals are designed for risk management, not sacred physiology. They’re brilliant when real emergencies occur. But they’re not always supportive of undisturbed, natural, unfolding birth.
And here’s why that matters.
the rise of over- medicalised birth
Continuous CTG Monitoring (Cardiotocography) is used in many hospitals during labour. While intended to detect foetal distress, research shows it leads to a higher rate of interventions without improving outcomes.
A Cochrane Review found that continuous CTG monitoring increases the likelihood of Caesarean births and assisted delivery without reducing cerebral palsy or perinatal death.(Cochrane Database, 2017)
The false positive rate of CTG is up to 99%, meaning most abnormalities it detects are not true distress—just a trigger for unnecessary intervention.
(Devane et al., 2012. "Continuous cardiotocography (CTG) as a form of electronic fetal monitoring (EFM) for fetal assessment during labour.")
So are we preventing harm—or creating fear?
vaginal examinations: more risk than reassurance
Repeated vaginal exams, often sold as routine, come with real risks:
Increased likelihood of infection, especially once waters have broken
Feelings of violation, shame, or trauma
False expectations of how labour "should" progress
The World Health Organization recommends limiting vaginal exams to once every 4 hours during labour and only when necessary, warning of infection risk and psychological harm. (WHO Intrapartum Guidelines, 2018)
Key word being "when" because unless there is a clear medical reason as to why your professionals want to perform a vaginal examination- then should there really be a need for one? And if you didn't already know... your dilation is not an indicator of how long you will be in labour for because labour is not linear.
And let’s be real—who can labour peacefully while being poked, judged, and timed?
birth interrupted= birth that needs "saving"
When you interrupt a birthing woman…
With bright lights
With beeping machines
With strangers coming and going
With touch that doesn’t ask for consent
With charts and policies and “you’re not progressing fast enough” threats
...you create a stressful environment, not a safe one.
You disrupt the flow of oxytocin—the very hormone that fuels contractions and bonding. You create tension in the body, which slows labour. You turn a physiological process into a clinical one, and then act surprised when the body stalls or spirals into distress.
And that’s when we hear it…
“They had to save me.”
But what if no one had interfered in the first place?
What if her body was never the problem?
What if the environment was?
are they saving you from risk- or from themselves?
This is the hard question, and I don’t ask it to shame anyone. I ask it because I care.
Was it a real emergency? Or was it a cascade of interventions that caused the emergency?
If we hadn't:
Induced too early
Ruptured membranes prematurely
Hooked you up to continuous monitors
Restricted your movement
Inserted pressure and fear into the room
…would we even be in a “saving” situation?
We will never know for sure in each individual case. But systemic patterns tell a story—and they’re telling it loudly.
what if we let birth unfold?
Imagine:
A dimly lit room.
Familiar, trusted faces.
Movement, breath, and space.
A midwife or doula observing silently, only stepping in when needed.
A woman who feels safe, not watched.
This is how women birthed for millennia.
This is not fantasy—it is biology.
save yourself before you need saving
You don’t need to walk into the system unprepared. You don’t need to hand over your power by default.
Learn your rights.
Know the risks—of intervention, not just birth.
Understand the physiology.
Hire a doula.
Make informed, conscious decisions.
Plan your birth space like it matters—because it does.
be the hero of your birth story
You don’t need to be saved. You need to be respected. You need to be heard. You need to be left alone when you're doing beautifully.
So when I hear “they saved me,” I will always listen with compassion.
But I’ll also wonder: What if you were never in danger to begin with? What if the system put you at risk—and then called it a rescue?
Birth is powerful.
It’s raw. It’s sacred.
But it needs protecting—from interference, not just complications.
Save yourself by taking ownership of your preparation.
Your birth matters—you matter.
Pooja xo
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