you are only 7 "why's" away from the truth!
- Pooja Mistry
- May 5
- 2 min read
I have always said in my Hypnobirthing course AND my Doula Antenatal Classes that in order to be "happy" with what you are consenting or declining, you need to be a 2 year old toddler asking "Why?" Just keep going until you feel content with the answer and just like we can become overwhelmed with toddlers and burst out with the truth behind our why... You professionals will do the same!
When I discussed this with one of my recent Hypnobirthing couples, to my amazement the dad- to- be told me that there is a rule of 7 why's to get to the real truth! I was amazed (not that I didn't know what I was talking about but the fact that it was a real researched thing- I had backup!!) Also super chuffed that a dad was clued up with this!
It's also known as "Seven Levels Deep" which is also used for business development but a key method used for problem solving. This is not to say that birth is a problem that needs solving BUT if things pop up because of "professional recommendations" or "hospital policy" and you're a bit hesitant to know whether it's actually the right choice for you... this could help you in your decision making process! Let's break it down:
The Purpose:
To get a deeper understanding of the reasons behind the explanations/ recommendations and to uncover the underlying reasons, motivations and root causes of what is being said and why!
How is it useful?
It uncovers the truth and the real reason why you are being offered/ recommended something. This along with the BRAINS technique can help you to weigh up your risks, benefits and alternatives in order to make an informed choice about your birth!
It gives you a break to digest and understand the reasons and if you don't understand it a way of clarifying the information before blindly just agreeing to something you have not clearly understood (for the present and future implications!)
It can help build your relationship with your professionals! You are not being awkward by asking why. You just need clarity (and rightly so) to know you are making the right choice for you, your body and baby- not just making a fear- based decision!
You may notice that by the time you get to the 7th question that the point has completely digressed from the original statement and that's why it's so important to do it so that you can get to the real reason! That's what will help your decision making!
Sometimes you may not even need to get to 7, sometimes you may require more than 7- both are fine so long as you are happy with your final yes or no.
And if you don't know how to do this in a calm and friendly manner without aggravating your professionals... you NEED to get onto my Hypnobirthing Course today!!
Pooja xo
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