you don’t “look” like a doula

Erm... What is a Doula supposed to look like?

Before I even get into this, let me tell you that no one in my family (or in- laws) actually knows what I do for a living or even gets what I do. I'm the definitely the "woo"/ "hippy"/ "weird"/ "a bit out there" one for them and you know what? I've actually come to terms with this because as much as they are entitled to their opinions, I know that I am being authentically me!

I have always been a nurturer. I naturally having a caring charisma and I just can't help but what to help others. If you have either worked with me, spoken to me or attended my classes you will know I will put my everything and more into what I do. I will always try to go one step further for you and the only way you will ever know this is when you feel it.

And that's what a Doula is. She gives you the feelings of love, respect and support.

People have these funny connotations and laugh at the idea of non- medical practitioners who are passionately working to help women in their birthing journey's from a holistic approach. I'm not saying that there isn't a place for medical interventions but I am strongly putting forward the idea that Women have been birthing for Millenia WITHOUT medical interventions but WITH the support from other women in their homes with the guidance and trust from the Village Wise Woman AKA Doula!!

Doula's have been around for as long as we can remember. My family comes from a small village in India and my elders have spoken of being supported by their Doula. She was the most knowledgeable, respected and trusted person in the village who not only helped the birthing mother to bring her baby into the world but also understood the importance of nurturing her post birth. Making her nutritious foods, massaging her, providing her opportunities to rest and so much more. A Doula was there to guide the new mother into her parenting journey because it was understood how vulnerable she was and how precious this journey was. And when I asked what she looked like... She looked like herself.

She did not have a uniform because it was not needed. Her experience and presence was known and respected. Her approaches were not mocked but trusted just as she trusted the birthing mother to follow her instincts. The relationship was mutual. There was no hierarchy. Just a pure sense of being and acceptance.

When I first told a family friend I was a Doula, I got a really confused look followed by "you don't look like a Doula?!" I was laughed at, asking if I was going to wear a long flowy dress walking around with incense sticks and feathers singing to spirits. My internal thought was "WTF- you're a bit uneducated mate!"

There's a line right? Some people just are oblivious and laugh at things that don't fit into their 'norm'. There's no 'convincing' these individuals because they are conditioned to fit into societal norms. But allow me to let you in on the worst kept secret- we had already had it figured out... centuries ago! We've somehow allowed the modern western world to rewire our beliefs which has completely f**ked us up!

Doula's aren't hippy or weird or out there.

Doula's aren't uneducated and winging it.

Doula's don't sing and dance. (well I do in my own personal space- oxytocin build for me is also important!)

Doula's trust Birthing Women, Birthing bodies and the process because they have invested in the art of being present.

Doula's are educated professionals who understand the medical process, interventions but also offer the balancing scales with alternatives options so you can make more informed choices about YOUR body, YOUR baby and YOUR birth!

Doula's are your biggest wing women! They advocate, trust and hold space for you when you are at your most vulnerable. They do not take advantage, nor do they "do". They are invested in you every moment of the way.

That love and commitment doesn't come with a uniform. It comes with a feeling.

The feeling of safety.

So next time you meet a Doula- don't judge her by her looks, sense how she makes you feel. Her subtle acts will make you feel self- empowered even in questionable moments.

That is the art of being a Doula. That is the art of being with Woman.

And that is why I love what I do!

Pooja xo

BOOK A FREE DOULA CONSULTATION WITH POOJA